Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Cat Kidney Stones

So Pdubs Mom comes to me last Friday night and says 'I think something is wrong with Boy (the name of one of our cats)'

I say: Whats wrong with him he looks fine to me.

Pdubs Mom: He has been walking around for the past two hours sqauting like he has to poop but he does nothing.

Me: Did you call the vet and ask them what could be wrong?

Pdubs Mom: no

Me: Better call them it is now 9:30pm and prolly wont get a hold of anyone.

Well our vet has an answering service that if you call before 10 pm they call you back. But i am assuming since it was so close to 10pm they never called and they sent us to the emergency vet.

Thats right the emergency vet all i am thinking is they will stick a suppository up his but make him poop and we are going home after shelling out $200-300.

Man was I wrong.........The vet comes in looks him over. He says he has the equivelant of Kidney stones and cant pee. He needs a cathiter put in and he needs to be flushed out. He has to stay here overnight and you have to pick him up by 7am and take him to your normal vet.\

Cost: $698.00

Normal vet

My wife takes him to the our vet and he has to stay there for the weekend and get the rest of the way flushed out.

Cost: $398.00

Now he can only eat food that helps control these stone things.....Yep thats right a 5lb bag of this stuff runs about $17 and a can of wet food costs $1.10.

All I can say is it's a good thing I love my wife.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine. (That's about 2.5 ounces)
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 2 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 26 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.

HAVE A GREAT DAY... ...and wash your dadgum hands!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Men Rules

I got this by email today and thought all were true so I am posting it here for all the world to read.


1 Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1 Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...really !

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Monday, April 16, 2007

I am a QUITTER

So I have decided to quit smoking..............................I know its a good choice to do for my health.......but its the other peoples health I am worried about while the nicotine is slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwly withering its way out of my body. I know I am serious this time as I have never went this long while "trying to tell myself I was quitting". I am worried about nek&eak's mom.............she will have to find something else to complain to me about at our family gatherings. I guess I can always stop showering.

P.S. wish me Luck

Monday, April 9, 2007

Phone Texting

I must be too old to appreciate phone texting. I have tried it and it takes to damn long. I dont understand what the big deal about it is when you can dial the person and ask them or tell them whatever you were going to text them in about 1/5 of the time it takes you to type out the message on your phone. Can anyone infrom me of why the hell anyone would ever text anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your time.

Friday, March 30, 2007

I am now cooler than my sister-in-law

I am now officially cooler than my sister-in-law beacuse I now have a blog too. She will be so jealous.